Josh Was Right About One Thing . . .

I had a plan to announce the gender of my coming son by posting this picture, and getting excited that I get another one. But instead, I have no picture to post for such a cause, because for the first time - it's a girl. Feels weird to even type that. Josh called it two years ago, and his certainty actually made me feel pretty certain, too. Josh is pumped (perhaps even willing to not name her Solarica), Gary says he feels less tired already, Noah didn't care much until he was told he could protect her, Andrew just loves to say, "Baby," and I have mixed emotions.

I am excited! It will be fun to have another girl around here to be girly with. I forget sometimes I am a girl. However, being the oldest of 7 girls has given me enough girl experience to know it's fun. And after all the growing up stuff, someday I'll have someone who likes to talk on the phone and wants me to help when she has babies (I hope). I hope having a girl around will teach my boys more about how girls should be treated. And lucky, lucky little girl to have Gary as a daddy. He's the best at listening and giving hugs that make it all better, take it from this girl.

But . . . I am scared, too. What if she doesn't like me? What if she thinks I'm not cute or cool or whatever? What about finding modest clothes? What about her caring about modest clothes? It goes on and on. I have never once worried about these things with my boys. I guess the possible girl-hurts are just too real. I'll stop because this is a happy time. :)

So, little girlie, we are excited to meet you. You've got four awesome boys that are already set to protect you, and a mommy that is bawling right now because she just wants to be a good mommy. And also a Halloween costume mom bought 3 years ago on clearance. FYI, you'll be a cat.

The Blogging Dilemmazaa

I had a little help coming up with that title, though I'm not sure from which helper it came. It's catchy, though.

I found a piece of notebook paper from last summer covered in notes that were meant to remind me of the things that happened that week. It bothers me a lot that I never got around to writing out the full version, and now I don't know what most of them mean. That was only a year ago.

I just loaded my memory card onto this new computer. I can't believe how much my kids have changed since that card was started, and I wish I could remember the circumstances surrounding all of the pictures. That card is only 8 months old.

I love it when I capture the little things to remember later, like tonight when Gary couldn't find short-sleeved super-hero pajamas for both Josh and Noah, he put them in white t-shirts and brown lounge pants and told them that's what Jedi wear to bed. Noah was very proud to show me his awesome outfit, and my giggle returned just now when I went to put clothes away and saw my little sleeping Jedi.

Or the other night when Gary and I were reminsicing about the old days when all of the primary classes had different names and songs to go with them. I sang all of the songs, but had to admit I didn't know the Blazer one, and asked Gary if he knew. He immediately busted out with, "I'm a Blazer B . . ." with show choir enthusiasm. (Of course made up. He didn't know, either.) I hurt from laughing. You had to be there, but lucky me, I was. (Especially when he called his song "Some cheap Mormon tune.")

But blogging . . .  wow, when in the world? Get to the end of a day, I'm exhausted, the kitchen floor is sticking to my feet, and the clean laundry is becoming dirty from lack of attention. Even if that were ignored, just opening the computer seems like a difficult chore, much less forcing my brain to think of something to write. Ouch. Much better to stare into space until Gary makes me get in my bed. Or wait until a night like tonight when I started making bread way too late, then jot something down with no pictures. Darn it, I want to keep our little family history, but - the bread is ready. And that's the dilemmazaa.