Heads Up 7 Up, Anyone?

Right at this moment kids are watching mindless videos and playing heads-up 7-Up at school instead of learning. They are being put in unsafe situations that are later reported on the news. Their teachers are teaching with fevers of 102 and laryngitis and turning down professional development opportunities because they are afraid of what will happen while they're gone. Why? Lack of qualified substitute teachers. Now, please don't think I'm saying they're all bad. There are some fantastic ones, bless them!!! However, they are usually booked far in advance, and the last minute sick-teacher ends up with someone who leaves kindergartners alone so they can run into the road. So now, imagine that a certified teacher with a current license and 3 years of classroom experience applies to be a substitute, what do you think would happen? When I was a teacher I would have said, "Bless your existence! I'm booking you for my entire career!" Well, I am a currently licensed teacher with 3 years of experience who recently applied for the substitute job, and I will tell you exactly what happened.

Two months ago I made the 20+ minute journey to the district office in the snow, with two small children in tow. I turned in my substitute application, but could not talk to the person in charge of hiring because she was out of the office. However, I did watch the application be placed in a basket with her (I'll call her "G") name on it. I was told she makes calls every now and then for interviews, so to wait for that.

I waited a month and a half, and decided to call and follow up. Should have called sooner, but I was occupied with stuff and didn't want to bother them. I actually talked to G this time. She got my name and phone number, and said she'd look up my application and call me back. I personally thought she could have just put me on hold, but okay, whatever. I waited a week for her to "look up my application," but never did she call. So I called her again. She said, "Oh, yes, I have looked all over and couldn't find that application, could you fill out another one and fax it to me? I actually just did a bunch of sub interviews yesterday, but I think I could get you set up by the end of the year." Um, why didn't she tell me BEFORE the interviews that I needed to fill out a new application, especially since I told her I'd dropped it off March 3rd?!

G promised that as soon as I faxed her the new application she'd call me back. Okay, I was willing, and really fine with everything up to this point. I faxed that application within two hours, and a couple hours after that received a phone call that went exactly like this:

G: I wanted to let you know I received your application, but just now had time to call, but I did receive it. (Voice sounds like the conversation is over.)
Me: Okay, so what do I need to do?
G: Um, do you have your fingerprints?
Me: I don't know if you noticed on the application, but I have a current license on file with the state. (Everyone with a current license has fingerprints on file.)
G: Yeah, I notice you're a teacher, but I have to check in CACTUS (the database for stuff like that) and see if they have your fingerprints still.
Me: Do they destroy those?
G: Well, I don't know, but if they're not there then you'd have to come in here and get them done, so I have to check. (Voice sounds like she is trying really hard to get off the phone.)
Me: So . . .
G: I'll call you sometime and let you know what we need. (Voice says, "Bye, now.")
Me: (Trying hard to keep her on the phone to give me a definite directive) Well, yeah, I can do anything whenever you need.
G: Ok (Real short, real trying-to-end-the-conversation)
Me: I'm available for interviews any time.
G: Ok, bye.

And that's it, folks. To be fair, G is probably overworked and underpaid, but wow. Remember when I was on the Doug Wright show addressing the substitute teacher topic . . . is my experience isolated, or are there qualified people all over the place getting the brush? Maybe they'll call me on Monday, and this rant is useless, but it has been 2 months . . .

The Boys - Amusing Yet Unrelated Vignettes

The sport of the moment was football-at-bedtime. Josh and his dad were tossing the ball back and forth when suddenly Josh said, "Uh, oh, I need my helmet!" and ran away. When he came back from rummaging in the garage, he had his helmet on, and although it made playing extremely difficult for him, Josh was determined to play the game like it should be played.Josh is a big Kris Allen (American Idol) fan, because he plays the guitar. Whenever Josh sees a guitar number he runs and gets his dad's guitar (poor Gary, the thing's never in tune for more than two seconds). On this particular occasion, I cleaned the entire kitchen while Josh watched and played along with the previous night's number over and over again. He calls it, "Playing the guy song." (I debated whether to share, given the outfit, but he's still under 3 for a month . . .)

Josh loves to help me cook. On this particular occasion he helped me make an entire chocolate cake from scratch. It took a very long time and our kitchen was very messy, but look at him . . . he calls himself "the mixer guy."

Noah's starting to show signs of being an adventure-kid. He loves this slide. If you sit him at the top, he'll push himself off, and loves it. In this picture he's concentrating pretty hard, but sometimes he sits and claps for a minute before taking the plunge.

Hee, hee, Noah . . . he emptied this drawer of bibs and climbed in himself.

So, I took several pictures of Noah in the drawer, and someone got jealous. "Take a picture of me eating pineapple!" Josh said. It's a pretty incredible photo.

Lately they're turning into the 2 Musketeers, collaborating for their destruction. Both of them were pretty darn pleased to have this bag of Craisins all over the floor. It was a small bag and they were so happy to be in cahoots . . .

After a nutritious breakfast, what do two little boys want to do while mom cleans up? Go outside and eat rocks, of course. When they first started doing this several weeks ago, Gary and I tried to make them stop, but soon determined it wasn't worth it, we'd have to keep them inside. Rocks are a staple item for boys.

And last but not least, when Mom is mowing the lawn, does a good man just let her do it all by herself? Of course not! Josh grabbed the craft scissors (he pronounces it "crap scissors") and started working on the front strip. Thanks, man.

Guess Who's Back?

Gary, that's who! After months of LONG working hours, the legislative session is over. Our kids went for days at a time without seeing their dad, and he went for days at a time on only a couple of hours of sleep. He even slept (for an hour or two) in his office once, but said being awakened by the janitor was awkward, so he came home, even for short stints, after that. At one point Gary left this note for me, and I kept it hanging on the fridge for the rest of the time, just to keep myself convinced. Funny thing at this point is . . . I started this post a month ago! Now we've had him back to normal for a bit, and we love it. Or is it the weather? Both! The day after the session ended we took the opportunity to take our kids to the open house of the Draper Utah Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Although we did a lot of waiting, the kids were troopers and Josh made everyone smile as he excitedly pointed out picture after picture of Jesus. We came to a point where we were given a small presentation I was positive Josh was not listening to, but when the guy finished talking, Josh told us exactly where we had been told to go for cookies, so maybe he heard just a little bit of something else, too . . .

Although the picture is sunny, it was actually really cold, and this shot was the best we could do. We might not look perfect, but we were really happy to be together and to have this opportunity.

The next weekend Gary cashed in his birthday present - going skiing! Lucky me, he picked me as his ski partner even though the gift specified he could choose anyone. My mom was awesome enough to keep the boys with her while we hit the slopes. Perfect, except for one thing. I haven't been skiing forever, so this was Gary . . .

. . . but this was me.

Yeah, I wasn't the awesomest, but I got tons better as the day went on, which convinced me that we probably need to go again several times. Gary said I "exceeded expectations" (because I set them so low), so I'm feeling pretty good about my skills. We had a great time, it was fun to feel like a dating couple again. I wish we had a cute little picture of us with our rosy cheeks and ski gear, but I am so bad at walking in ski boots the idea of going to get the camera and then put it back caused pain, so I took a mental picture. We look good in it.

So that's us a month ago. Things have been hectic since then, but that's not a bad thing. Don't think I haven't been reading your blog, because I have, just in stalker-fashion from Google Reader. You look great.

Great and Not So Great

Great news! I have another new nephew, son of Gary's brother Drew and his wife Stacey. You can see him here, he's cute and his siblings are really adorable with him. Yes, he's a month old, but I haven't blogged in a while, and he's worth the wait, right?

Other great news - my niece Madeline is still adorable! Not as great news, while she has increased much in wisdom, not so much in stature. Click here to read what Sarah learned about her last week. I am posting it here because many of you may know Sarah, and I'm sure any small prayer will help.