Such a hard choice, I know! I just spent a week pondering deep issues such as this at girls' camp. It was crazy getting ready for it with kid arrangements, weaning, other calling, bla, bla, bla, I wondered why I didn't just say I couldn't handle it. I felt really good about going, though, and so did Gary. I was operating under the notion that I needed to go and help some girl somehow . . . maybe. I hope a little. But it turns out there was one girl the experience helped that I didn't consider - me.
The food was delicious, we played dancing games, sang silly songs, came up with fun ditties, played games (I learned one called Ninja Strike I'll have to show you), and all the good stuff. But the best part was being in nature and remembering the point of things. I didn't think about budgets or coupons or computers or cars or anything else that makes me crazy. But they did give me time to read the scriptures and write in my journal. And I discovered . . . I LOVED it! It was so exciting to do it and not just be shoving it into the day. Being back now, of course it's hard to fit things in just like it was before, but I tasted of the awesomeness, and I want more.
One experience that shows what I learned (and also how it amusing it was) is the 2nd year hike. There was only one second year from our ward, and I went along with her. The hike was 5 miles, and the uphill portion was straight up. The girl isn't in the best shape, but she's a trooper, and didn't complain on the outset. However, it soon got to be more than she could handle, and she had to stop often. We started out with the front of the pack, and ended up in the very back. I told her that whenever I have a hard time with some physical challenge I sing a song in my head to get me going. I started by singing "Staying Alive," and she was okay with that. Then on the next hill I started singing, "She's going the distance! She's going for speed . . ." She looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Um, old people music isn't going to help." Hahahahahaha. Surely the group of 13 year olds ahead of me would know the song, right? Nope. None of them. My girl mentioned being embarassed by her "old-people-music leader." One more reminder (there were many at camp) that I am "old." (Note to people older than me: You are not old. Old is 80. But then you can be proud of being 80, all the general authorities are. Best ones anyway.)
So, music aside, we got to a place where the hill was very steep, and the girl was very tired. She said, "I can't make it." But I told her she could. And it took some courage-gathering, but she did it! She was so proud of herself for the rest of the day, she was just beaming. I was so proud of her, too. It seems like a small thing, but such a good thing to realize that we can accomplish things that are hard, even when it gets to a point when we think, "No way." We talked later how we really can't do hard things alone, that's why we need people with us, and that the best help of all is the Lord. Even if we feel we don't have anyone to coach us up the hill, the truth is we always have the best coach of all.
Tiring, but inspiring. That's camp in a nutshell. And overall I'd rather have Archuleta as my boyfriend, but Bieber's songs are so catchy . . .
P.S. I only had 3 hours of sleep the night before camp due to preparations. I noted that I started my mission out the same way. And my marriage . . . the other camp director says she does the same thing. Do you do that? Start out events that require much sleep ahead of time with little to none?
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
On the Tough Road to Feeling Better
This is my boys before they found out what surgery really means:
Andrew got ear tubes this morning. Josh got a second set of tubes and also his tonsils and adenoids out (yes, his adenoids had grown back from last time he got them removed.) I'm really excited for them to not have ear infections and for Josh to breathe/sleep/hear better, and so grateful it went well.
Now for the story. We've known these surgeries had to be done for a couple of months now, but this was the soonest we could get in to see the ENT and then schedule surgery. I told Josh that he would be getting his tonsils out, but didn't really get into it until yesterday when I decided I'd better prepare him a little bit. In response to my explanation of what would be happening, he said, "Well, when they put that mask on my face, I just won't fall asleep." Hmm. I decided to try a different tack and get him excited by telling him about the yummy things he would get to eat. He was excited, indeed, and kept asking, "And what else?" I ran out of things and said, "Well, what else can you think of that's cold and soft?" "We could put some fluffy cookies in the fridge," was his answer. Genius.
My kids had yucky colds when I returned from girls' camp on Friday, but they were seeming a little better, so Gary and I started heading to bed at 10:00 last night in preparation to have Josh and Andrew to the hospital by 6:30 a.m. this morning. Right as we were about to go upstairs Noah decided that the middle child would not be forgotten so easily, and came out of his room with a fever of 103 and struggling to breathe. So, a little Tylenol, Motrin, and albuterol later, we were actually in bed a couple of hours later. But not for long. Andrew was up for 2-3 hours in the night. I knew he probably had an ear infection but we couldn't give him anything to eat or drink because of the surgery, so we just waited it out. With the lack of sleep, Gary changed the clock funny, and we woke up and ran to get dressed thinking we were late. But we weren't for once, hooray! Luckily my sweet mother had come to our house last night to help with the surgery kids, so Noah had someone there for his sick self when he woke up.
At the hospital, Josh was quite excited to wear a green gown (his favorite color), and to have a bracelet with his birthday on it. Here he is with the cool hat he got to wear.
Unfortunately the smile didn't last long. Andrew's surgery was first, and not really a big deal, except for the fact he did, indeed, have an ear infection. The doctor said it was ready to burst any minute, so perfect timing. After Andrew got a chance to eat and get some love, he was over the anesthesia and was just sleepy.
However, being back in the recovery area with Andrew meant we heard Josh sooner than we were meant to. And it was very sad. He was crying and choking behind an oxygen mask, then he'd get suctioned, cry, suction, make awful gurgling noises . . . I didn't know the suctioning was standard, and Gary and I were getting tears in our eyes hearing him like that. Not that we didn't think he'd be okay, we knew he would, but it was hard to listen to. When I saw Josh I was so grateful that this was only a minor thing when lots of parents see their kids go through worse things all the time. He was fighting the nurse with the oxygen (he wasn't awake and had no idea what he was doing), so they had me try. He seemed to like me singing in his hear and stroking his head, so they had me hold him, but he still cried for around an hour after that.
Gary and I tried to get him to open his eyes, but it wasn't until a mom of another patient offered for us to let Josh look at her son's Yoda figurine did he really try to open his eyes. And oh, my did he try hard for that. He didn't quite make it, but he was motivated. When he eventually did open his eyes, he calmed down, but wanted his IV out right away, and to go home. Oh, and turns out he had an ear infection, as well, and his tonsils and adenoids were both extremely large.
Poor Josh has been pretty miserable, but fights sleep. Luckily there are popsicles and grandmas. We all pretty much held boys today, as Noah is still sick and battling for the most miserable (barking like a seal). My mom got the kids each a new stuffed animal for their surgeries (or lack thereof), and while Josh has never been a stuffed animal guy, he loves his new anteater. I hate that it has to come to this for me to get cuddle time with my boys, but I do enjoy having it. I am sooo grateful for modern medicine, where things that could have been a big deal years ago really aren't these days. My boys will be feeling better in no time (they say only a couple of days), and they should be better than ever. Awesome. Or for now it's more accurate to say will be eventually awesome. Until then, I'm going to get in some more cuddle time . . .
Monday, June 14, 2010
You Title It, I Can't
* Between me, my two visiting teaching teachers, and my two home teachers, there is not a single girl-child.
*911 never works in my dreams. It's a recurring nightmare that I'm trying to call for an emergency, and somehow my fingers can never get it right. Now the keys on my phone aren't working so well. The dream emotions come flooding back when I dial, especially my friend with three 3's in her number - the 3 is the worst one. Cue Twilight Zone music.
*When you live in the desert and it rains, this is a good thing. Just making sure you know.
*One of life's big disappointments is burning a grilled cheese sandwich. Happiness is getting it just right. The other day I did both, but since we shared them all, we were happy over-all.
*You know what animal scares me? A marmot.
*Earlier today the phrase, "Weaning a baby is for the birds," went through my head. Then I realized that birds don't nurse, and a more accurate phrase would be, "Giving your baby worms is for the birds." Or maybe, "Weaning a baby is for the marmots."
*911 never works in my dreams. It's a recurring nightmare that I'm trying to call for an emergency, and somehow my fingers can never get it right. Now the keys on my phone aren't working so well. The dream emotions come flooding back when I dial, especially my friend with three 3's in her number - the 3 is the worst one. Cue Twilight Zone music.
*When you live in the desert and it rains, this is a good thing. Just making sure you know.
*One of life's big disappointments is burning a grilled cheese sandwich. Happiness is getting it just right. The other day I did both, but since we shared them all, we were happy over-all.
*You know what animal scares me? A marmot.
*Earlier today the phrase, "Weaning a baby is for the birds," went through my head. Then I realized that birds don't nurse, and a more accurate phrase would be, "Giving your baby worms is for the birds." Or maybe, "Weaning a baby is for the marmots."
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Updates May
Yep, it's one of those posts.
May 11:
We had a ton of fun seeing everyone!!! We missed those who weren't there, though. The food was great, the company was greater, and my only big problem was that it went by too fast. (Post note for posterity - we spent mother's day at Sara and Taylor's house to celebrate Jacob's blessing. We were fed TWO meals, lucky moms, and lots of family was there. I lost Josh all day, he was having so much fun with cousins, and I got to chat and nap. Oh, and very cool - Gary made me breakfast and we were still able to make it to the blessing in the nick of time. The very nick, but still in time.)
I tried to make Noah show off while we were there, although he was marginal in his performances overall, he did tell everyone about how the butterflies flew away - a major event for Josh and Noah. I had to try and steal a few moments of motherly pride in Noah to offset the moments of blinking back tears when I see marker on my stairs I just paid to get cleaned. Little monkey, love his guts. Back to the butterflies, Josh didn't want to let them go, which made me want to get him a pet. Much later, though, for now Andrew can be his pet. I'll even let him have all the roly polys in our yard.
Sad news is our neighbors officially told us they weren't interested when I went over with the missionaries. I suspected given the time that had past, but I always want to hope. They are cool people, so hopefully we can be friends and it's not awkward.
P.S. (Mostly to Stacey) Turns out Andrew and I have thrush. When I called my dad for drugs yesterday I told him NO gentian violet. I don't want to ruin any more lives. :)
May 21:
Gotta hurry because I'm typing this before my kids wake up here in St. George . . . yep, we're on our way to San Diego. My sister will take out her endowments tonight and she and her husband and baby will be sealed on Saturday. Looking forward to it! If not for the drive - could we all pray for angel children today?
Yes, Noah is still destructive. One thing that delayed us was that he dumped out Andrew's antibiotic and we had to get it refilled. On Sunday it took us 20 minutes to get the antibiotic into Andrew because Noah first emptied out a container of Lysol wipes, then dumped out a bottle of foundation, then got a dresser knocked over on him. Last one could have been Josh's fault.
Cute thing he did this week (I seek for balance): At Josh's soccer game, every time the team would have a little huddle around the coach, Noah was right in there. After half time the coach was saying who was going to play. He said, "We'll have Taylor, Cole, Josh, and let's see . . ." "And Noah. Noah," came a little voice (yep, it was Noah). All of the parents' hearts went out to him when they learned that he's not even 2 - it's going to be a couple of years.
Most fun thing of the week(s) - Josh's birthday. He was SO EXCITED for days. He had a party and I'll blog about it when I get home. Yuckiest things - Noah barfing, Andrew's 4 medicines, my achy flu the other day that derailed my packing attempts. Craziest hour - The hour right before Relief Society when the teacher had an emergency so I had to teach last minute. And I wasn't dressed when I found out. It went well, though, no worries. I love getting a chance to bear my testimony. It was amusing because then the next hour the Sunday School teacher didn't show. I thought Gary might have to hop in, but one of the other guys did - and had to teach from his iPhone, no manual could be found. Best husband - Gary. Of course.
Pictures of Andrew doing yoga and more about his ears on my blog (emilary.blogspot.com). Off we go to San Diego, with Josh wearing his Ironman mask in the back seat. Hooray!
June 2:
If you really said a prayer for good traveling kids, it worked! I'm pretty sure it was a temple miracle (I was worried about getting there in time for my sister's endowment), but they were great. They slept, took off their shoes and clapped them on their hands, sang and danced to music (Josh said, "Hey mom, I can move my bum back and forth in my car seat!") , made up awesome songs (Itsy bitsy snake, itsy bitsy pig, itsy bitsy dinosaur . . . and so much more), and laughed at Gary's jokes (they COULD NOT get enough of Gary pretending it was a big deal we "smuggled" a pear into California). We made it in time for the endowment, and it was really fantastic, as was the sealing the next day. My sister and her husband seemed great, and it did my soul some good.
My parents rented a house for everyone to stay in, and although it wasn't a mansion, it was plenty big enough. They had a pool with a slide and hot tub, which was probably the most popular thing in San Diego. Josh and cousins stayed in it for around 4 hours at a time, until the tips of his fingers were peeling off from climbing in and out. They also had a pool table, and we had a tournament - Gary won the whole thing, and I at least didn't stink. I was sad he beat me, but glad my man has skills.
We also visited the Wild Animal Park, the beach, a Padres/Cardinals game, and celebrated Noah's 2nd birthday. He was a wreck from lack of sleep by then, but his birthday gave him snippets of happiness. All good times. On the way back we spent two days in St. George, and would have loved to stay and stay. We chatted, took the kids to the park, and Gary was able to see Deanne's Heritage Choir concert. The next day Gary was saying how great the concert was and Josh said, "Yeah, but making a gingerbread house was way more fun." So I guess we chose a good activity for when it was just me and the kids - thanks, Deanne! We arrived home at 1:15 in the morning on Saturday night (Sunday morning?), and immediately wanted to go back.
Yesterday Josh and Andrew had their pre-op appointments with the ENT for their surgeries. The doctor said if you look up pictures of kids who have overly large tonsils, Josh's face will show up. He will get his tonsils out, his adenoids if they grew back, and a new set of tubes. Andrew will get tubes. I'm excited for less infections and better sleep for children.
May 11:
We had a ton of fun seeing everyone!!! We missed those who weren't there, though. The food was great, the company was greater, and my only big problem was that it went by too fast. (Post note for posterity - we spent mother's day at Sara and Taylor's house to celebrate Jacob's blessing. We were fed TWO meals, lucky moms, and lots of family was there. I lost Josh all day, he was having so much fun with cousins, and I got to chat and nap. Oh, and very cool - Gary made me breakfast and we were still able to make it to the blessing in the nick of time. The very nick, but still in time.)
I tried to make Noah show off while we were there, although he was marginal in his performances overall, he did tell everyone about how the butterflies flew away - a major event for Josh and Noah. I had to try and steal a few moments of motherly pride in Noah to offset the moments of blinking back tears when I see marker on my stairs I just paid to get cleaned. Little monkey, love his guts. Back to the butterflies, Josh didn't want to let them go, which made me want to get him a pet. Much later, though, for now Andrew can be his pet. I'll even let him have all the roly polys in our yard.
Sad news is our neighbors officially told us they weren't interested when I went over with the missionaries. I suspected given the time that had past, but I always want to hope. They are cool people, so hopefully we can be friends and it's not awkward.
P.S. (Mostly to Stacey) Turns out Andrew and I have thrush. When I called my dad for drugs yesterday I told him NO gentian violet. I don't want to ruin any more lives. :)
May 21:
Gotta hurry because I'm typing this before my kids wake up here in St. George . . . yep, we're on our way to San Diego. My sister will take out her endowments tonight and she and her husband and baby will be sealed on Saturday. Looking forward to it! If not for the drive - could we all pray for angel children today?
Yes, Noah is still destructive. One thing that delayed us was that he dumped out Andrew's antibiotic and we had to get it refilled. On Sunday it took us 20 minutes to get the antibiotic into Andrew because Noah first emptied out a container of Lysol wipes, then dumped out a bottle of foundation, then got a dresser knocked over on him. Last one could have been Josh's fault.
Cute thing he did this week (I seek for balance): At Josh's soccer game, every time the team would have a little huddle around the coach, Noah was right in there. After half time the coach was saying who was going to play. He said, "We'll have Taylor, Cole, Josh, and let's see . . ." "And Noah. Noah," came a little voice (yep, it was Noah). All of the parents' hearts went out to him when they learned that he's not even 2 - it's going to be a couple of years.
Most fun thing of the week(s) - Josh's birthday. He was SO EXCITED for days. He had a party and I'll blog about it when I get home. Yuckiest things - Noah barfing, Andrew's 4 medicines, my achy flu the other day that derailed my packing attempts. Craziest hour - The hour right before Relief Society when the teacher had an emergency so I had to teach last minute. And I wasn't dressed when I found out. It went well, though, no worries. I love getting a chance to bear my testimony. It was amusing because then the next hour the Sunday School teacher didn't show. I thought Gary might have to hop in, but one of the other guys did - and had to teach from his iPhone, no manual could be found. Best husband - Gary. Of course.
Pictures of Andrew doing yoga and more about his ears on my blog (emilary.blogspot.com). Off we go to San Diego, with Josh wearing his Ironman mask in the back seat. Hooray!
June 2:
If you really said a prayer for good traveling kids, it worked! I'm pretty sure it was a temple miracle (I was worried about getting there in time for my sister's endowment), but they were great. They slept, took off their shoes and clapped them on their hands, sang and danced to music (Josh said, "Hey mom, I can move my bum back and forth in my car seat!") , made up awesome songs (Itsy bitsy snake, itsy bitsy pig, itsy bitsy dinosaur . . . and so much more), and laughed at Gary's jokes (they COULD NOT get enough of Gary pretending it was a big deal we "smuggled" a pear into California). We made it in time for the endowment, and it was really fantastic, as was the sealing the next day. My sister and her husband seemed great, and it did my soul some good.
My parents rented a house for everyone to stay in, and although it wasn't a mansion, it was plenty big enough. They had a pool with a slide and hot tub, which was probably the most popular thing in San Diego. Josh and cousins stayed in it for around 4 hours at a time, until the tips of his fingers were peeling off from climbing in and out. They also had a pool table, and we had a tournament - Gary won the whole thing, and I at least didn't stink. I was sad he beat me, but glad my man has skills.
We also visited the Wild Animal Park, the beach, a Padres/Cardinals game, and celebrated Noah's 2nd birthday. He was a wreck from lack of sleep by then, but his birthday gave him snippets of happiness. All good times. On the way back we spent two days in St. George, and would have loved to stay and stay. We chatted, took the kids to the park, and Gary was able to see Deanne's Heritage Choir concert. The next day Gary was saying how great the concert was and Josh said, "Yeah, but making a gingerbread house was way more fun." So I guess we chose a good activity for when it was just me and the kids - thanks, Deanne! We arrived home at 1:15 in the morning on Saturday night (Sunday morning?), and immediately wanted to go back.
Yesterday Josh and Andrew had their pre-op appointments with the ENT for their surgeries. The doctor said if you look up pictures of kids who have overly large tonsils, Josh's face will show up. He will get his tonsils out, his adenoids if they grew back, and a new set of tubes. Andrew will get tubes. I'm excited for less infections and better sleep for children.
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