Saturday, March 28, 2009
Finding Joy - A Great Link
I just got the biggest boost from a talk I read. My friend Krista gave it at a women's conference in Arizona, and I feel so good I have to share. It's on finding joy, and you can read it here. Keep in mind she posted it in 6 parts, so while this link is to the last part, it contains a link that allows you to read starting at part 1. Man, I think I've got the strength to go running now . . .
Going Above And Beyond
Some teachers allow you to use things from other classes in their class, and others don't. I don't know if this fits in the rules posted below, but since I have been spending a lot of time doing algebra and other stuff lately, I am using my 25 random things I wrote for facebook a month or so ago and posting it for this tag. So that's actually going the extra mile, right?
1. Link this post to the person who tagged you: Julie
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. List 6 random things about yourself.
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
1. I work for BYU Independent Study testing their courses before they are published. This is extremely part time (I only do it once every 3 months or so), but when I have a course, it's time intensive. That's why I'm doing algebra right now, algebra 2, part 2 to be exact. (Okay, so I changed #1, but all of the rest are the same.)
2. I only receive texts from Rascall Flats. (Until two weeks ago when texting was added to my plan for free.)
3. When I was 5, I was positive I would be an Olympic gymnast. I had a Mary Lou Retton leotard that I wore to school to prove it.
4. When I was 12, I was still positive I was going to the Olympics, only it would be for track. (Didn't give this up until I was around 15 . . .)
5. I love learning languages, and could get by in Mandarin Chinese and German for a while (more so Chinese), but have never had the chance to get fluent. Sad. However, I used (past tense) to be able to say hello and thank you in at least 25 languages (7 of them Polynesian . . .)
6. I used to be a tour guide at the Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawaii, so if anyone needs to know how to make tapa, poi, or a love-from-the-tourists-generating headband, I've got your back.
7. I am cooking sausages as I type this.
8. I once burnt my face half-off with boiling lemon pudding. Should have had terrible scars my whole life, but I was miraculously healed. Seriously. A small part of it was due to me offering to snorkel in cold saline at the E.R.
9. I grew up battling the "smart geek" image, but ever since I went into education in college people don't think I'm smart anymore. Woo-hoo?
10. A very large part of me wants to go back to a college dance party. High school would work too, it's just getting hard to remember back that far.
11. I actually met most of my friends at BYU-Hawaii at a dance. Cannot describe those legendary dances. (But if you're reading CS 205, you are a legend, too.)
12. I am wondering right now if something can be legendary if no one probably ever really talks about it, I just think about it in my mind occasionally. Something tells me probably not.
13. I killed a fly for the first time last summer.
14. The sausages are done.
15. I was pregnant with my second baby for 24 days longer than I carried my first. Longest 24 days of my life.
16. Once I was watching TV and playing with a tiny for-kids-to-play-with cup, and it got stuck on my lips. I had to have assistance to pull it off. My lips were HUGE and purple for quite a while.
17. I hated math in high school because it was boring, but when I learned about how it could be cool in my methods class in college I became obsessed with it. I was the school math coordinator, on the district math committee, went to tons of trainings and conferences, and if I could get a master's degree right now that's what it would be. Why does mainstream education stick with the less-effective hated version?
18. I was in a modern dance number at BYU-H where I had to wear black and writhe around on the floor symbolizing the anguish of the people of Singapore when their country was overtaken. I almost never think about that, think I've blocked it.
19. I love to watch sports. I really like playing sports, too, but hardly ever do because I feel stupid that I never really had a chance to learn how.
20. I won a partners pickle ball tournament in P.E. in high school. Since no one ever plays I can claim prowess in that sport.
21. My friends and I took D.I. shopping (and t-shirt making, and strange finds at the mall) to the next-next level in high school. The goal was not to be the most fashionable, but the awesomest (funniest). I long for the days when I could throw on a sweet Neil Diamond shirt with my denim shorts and look great. (Or surprise everyone with a blue polyester cowboy hat or the biggest bell bottoms ever, or, sigh . . .)
22. I want to move to a lovely island and wear a slimming muu muu and hug my babies and run in the sun and NOT think about how I look.
23. Used to make a lot of tiger traps with my sisters in our back alley when I was 6.
24. My first tape was Debbie Gibson. (Only in My Dreams, Shake Your Love, . . .)
25. The day I turned 25 I accidentally took a Lortab instead of my allergy medicine and was too loopy to walk home from church. My mom thought I did it on purpose because I didn't want to be 25. I think that is the funniest part.
Okay, you have to realize that this was a random stream of consciousness, one thing just led to another and I typed along, so I don't know that these are the 25 things that define me most, but I followed the rules . . . they're random!
P.S. When I posted this on facebook people commented about why I want the muu muu to be slimming if I don't want to care how I look . . . anyone with muu muu experience can testify that overly-large ones (as they do tend to be), can seriously interfere with beach running.
1. Link this post to the person who tagged you: Julie
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. List 6 random things about yourself.
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.
1. I work for BYU Independent Study testing their courses before they are published. This is extremely part time (I only do it once every 3 months or so), but when I have a course, it's time intensive. That's why I'm doing algebra right now, algebra 2, part 2 to be exact. (Okay, so I changed #1, but all of the rest are the same.)
2. I only receive texts from Rascall Flats. (Until two weeks ago when texting was added to my plan for free.)
3. When I was 5, I was positive I would be an Olympic gymnast. I had a Mary Lou Retton leotard that I wore to school to prove it.
4. When I was 12, I was still positive I was going to the Olympics, only it would be for track. (Didn't give this up until I was around 15 . . .)
5. I love learning languages, and could get by in Mandarin Chinese and German for a while (more so Chinese), but have never had the chance to get fluent. Sad. However, I used (past tense) to be able to say hello and thank you in at least 25 languages (7 of them Polynesian . . .)
6. I used to be a tour guide at the Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawaii, so if anyone needs to know how to make tapa, poi, or a love-from-the-tourists-generating headband, I've got your back.
7. I am cooking sausages as I type this.
8. I once burnt my face half-off with boiling lemon pudding. Should have had terrible scars my whole life, but I was miraculously healed. Seriously. A small part of it was due to me offering to snorkel in cold saline at the E.R.
9. I grew up battling the "smart geek" image, but ever since I went into education in college people don't think I'm smart anymore. Woo-hoo?
10. A very large part of me wants to go back to a college dance party. High school would work too, it's just getting hard to remember back that far.
11. I actually met most of my friends at BYU-Hawaii at a dance. Cannot describe those legendary dances. (But if you're reading CS 205, you are a legend, too.)
12. I am wondering right now if something can be legendary if no one probably ever really talks about it, I just think about it in my mind occasionally. Something tells me probably not.
13. I killed a fly for the first time last summer.
14. The sausages are done.
15. I was pregnant with my second baby for 24 days longer than I carried my first. Longest 24 days of my life.
16. Once I was watching TV and playing with a tiny for-kids-to-play-with cup, and it got stuck on my lips. I had to have assistance to pull it off. My lips were HUGE and purple for quite a while.
17. I hated math in high school because it was boring, but when I learned about how it could be cool in my methods class in college I became obsessed with it. I was the school math coordinator, on the district math committee, went to tons of trainings and conferences, and if I could get a master's degree right now that's what it would be. Why does mainstream education stick with the less-effective hated version?
18. I was in a modern dance number at BYU-H where I had to wear black and writhe around on the floor symbolizing the anguish of the people of Singapore when their country was overtaken. I almost never think about that, think I've blocked it.
19. I love to watch sports. I really like playing sports, too, but hardly ever do because I feel stupid that I never really had a chance to learn how.
20. I won a partners pickle ball tournament in P.E. in high school. Since no one ever plays I can claim prowess in that sport.
21. My friends and I took D.I. shopping (and t-shirt making, and strange finds at the mall) to the next-next level in high school. The goal was not to be the most fashionable, but the awesomest (funniest). I long for the days when I could throw on a sweet Neil Diamond shirt with my denim shorts and look great. (Or surprise everyone with a blue polyester cowboy hat or the biggest bell bottoms ever, or, sigh . . .)
22. I want to move to a lovely island and wear a slimming muu muu and hug my babies and run in the sun and NOT think about how I look.
23. Used to make a lot of tiger traps with my sisters in our back alley when I was 6.
24. My first tape was Debbie Gibson. (Only in My Dreams, Shake Your Love, . . .)
25. The day I turned 25 I accidentally took a Lortab instead of my allergy medicine and was too loopy to walk home from church. My mom thought I did it on purpose because I didn't want to be 25. I think that is the funniest part.
Okay, you have to realize that this was a random stream of consciousness, one thing just led to another and I typed along, so I don't know that these are the 25 things that define me most, but I followed the rules . . . they're random!
P.S. When I posted this on facebook people commented about why I want the muu muu to be slimming if I don't want to care how I look . . . anyone with muu muu experience can testify that overly-large ones (as they do tend to be), can seriously interfere with beach running.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Very Cheap Diapers for You
You may have already read about this on pinchingyourpennies.com or someone else's website, but I thought I'd pass it along anyway. If you get on http://www.diapers.com/, spend $49, and use this code, you will get $10 off your order, free shipping, and it will arrive in 2 business days. Here's the code:
GIBB2456
Then, print your receipt and also this rebate:
http://www.diapers.com/helpcenter/parenting.htm
It's a $14.97 rebate!
UPDATE: This link does not work right now. Worked for me and a couple of others, but I don't currently know what's going on. Hopefully I can figure it out and give good news . . .
So it's $25 off in all. I got a big Sam's Club/Costco size box of Huggies, a pack of swim diapers, and two boxes of baby cereal for $26.50 once the rebate comes. ($41.50 before the rebate, which is still pretty darn good.) Also I get a credit for everyone who uses the code, so there is a referral thing in there for you, too. I read about this on PYP, but later found out I could use a friend's code and did that instead. I think this is for March only as far as I can see . . .
So there you go, my first time blogging about a deal. Probably won't go in the blog book . . .
P.S. The code only works for first time diapers.com users, but the rebate works for everyone who hasn't used it yet. Also, there is $5 off Huggies here: http://print.coupons.com/couponweb/Offers.aspx?pid=13306&zid=iq37&nid=10. Don't know how long that link will work. Okay, it's all out of my system.
GIBB2456
Then, print your receipt and also this rebate:
http://www.diapers.com/helpcenter/parenting.htm
It's a $14.97 rebate!
UPDATE: This link does not work right now. Worked for me and a couple of others, but I don't currently know what's going on. Hopefully I can figure it out and give good news . . .
So it's $25 off in all. I got a big Sam's Club/Costco size box of Huggies, a pack of swim diapers, and two boxes of baby cereal for $26.50 once the rebate comes. ($41.50 before the rebate, which is still pretty darn good.) Also I get a credit for everyone who uses the code, so there is a referral thing in there for you, too. I read about this on PYP, but later found out I could use a friend's code and did that instead. I think this is for March only as far as I can see . . .
So there you go, my first time blogging about a deal. Probably won't go in the blog book . . .
P.S. The code only works for first time diapers.com users, but the rebate works for everyone who hasn't used it yet. Also, there is $5 off Huggies here: http://print.coupons.com/couponweb/Offers.aspx?pid=13306&zid=iq37&nid=10. Don't know how long that link will work. Okay, it's all out of my system.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Reflections on Pregnancy
Expenses you don't count in when thinking of pregnancy:
^Antacids. I go through sooooo much of it.
^ Those nights when you're just too tired to cook and end up "grabbing something."
^ When nothing else sounds good but expensive things like Quiznos and Raisin Nut Bran.
Hunger . . . Pregnancy has always made me hungry. Nursing has always made me hungrier. So now combine them (what I am doing now). It is a VERY hungry state of affairs.
Is checking someone else's Algebra 2 over while dealing with morning sickness a form of torture in some countries?
Are soda crackers and ginger ale part of a complete breakfast?
If you were so lucky as to have an easy time being pregnant, the only people who want to hear about it are other people like you. Unless you are one of those people who are good at feeling sorry that others may have a real hard time, even though you didn't, then okay, let's chat, I really appreciate you!
I had an awful time with weight gain/loss in the Josh pregnancy, but got lucky after Noah. I have been having a ton of fun fitting into clothes I haven't worn for 3 1/2 years, hooray! But then this last week, they haven't been fitting or looking right. Man, my tummy is lumpy, I thought . . . oh, yeah, I'm pregnant.
This seems odd on a list with the others, but since I'm adding to it little by little, here goes. In the last few weeks, especially the last few days, when I have been terribly exhausted and at times visciously nauseous, I have had negative-leaning thoughts. But then I have times when I get the chance to reflect on just how precious my children are, and what an amazing miracle it is to be a part in their arrival here on earth. I am so blessed to be in a position to have them. Words can't express the feelings in my heart right now as I listen to them sing and giggle and play with their wonderful daddy who loves them. A little sickness, a little messy house . . . surely I can do it if this is the result.
P.S. At publishing time - I'll just leave this one . . . I can always collect more reflections later. Oh, yes, except I'm glad to report the nausea lessened then went away after the first trimester. Exhaustion is still my constant companion, but I'm told that's normal. I'm normal!
^Antacids. I go through sooooo much of it.
^ Those nights when you're just too tired to cook and end up "grabbing something."
^ When nothing else sounds good but expensive things like Quiznos and Raisin Nut Bran.
Hunger . . . Pregnancy has always made me hungry. Nursing has always made me hungrier. So now combine them (what I am doing now). It is a VERY hungry state of affairs.
Is checking someone else's Algebra 2 over while dealing with morning sickness a form of torture in some countries?
Are soda crackers and ginger ale part of a complete breakfast?
If you were so lucky as to have an easy time being pregnant, the only people who want to hear about it are other people like you. Unless you are one of those people who are good at feeling sorry that others may have a real hard time, even though you didn't, then okay, let's chat, I really appreciate you!
I had an awful time with weight gain/loss in the Josh pregnancy, but got lucky after Noah. I have been having a ton of fun fitting into clothes I haven't worn for 3 1/2 years, hooray! But then this last week, they haven't been fitting or looking right. Man, my tummy is lumpy, I thought . . . oh, yeah, I'm pregnant.
This seems odd on a list with the others, but since I'm adding to it little by little, here goes. In the last few weeks, especially the last few days, when I have been terribly exhausted and at times visciously nauseous, I have had negative-leaning thoughts. But then I have times when I get the chance to reflect on just how precious my children are, and what an amazing miracle it is to be a part in their arrival here on earth. I am so blessed to be in a position to have them. Words can't express the feelings in my heart right now as I listen to them sing and giggle and play with their wonderful daddy who loves them. A little sickness, a little messy house . . . surely I can do it if this is the result.
P.S. At publishing time - I'll just leave this one . . . I can always collect more reflections later. Oh, yes, except I'm glad to report the nausea lessened then went away after the first trimester. Exhaustion is still my constant companion, but I'm told that's normal. I'm normal!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The Skinny on Noah
That's right, my poor baby boy is getting skinny . . . for a chubby guy. Noah didn't eat much when he was sick for so many weeks in a row, and so when I took him in for his 9 month appointment last week he had actually lost weight, slipping below the 22 lb. mark to 21 lbs, 8 oz., and falling below the 70th percentile . . . and then I swear he gained it all back in 3 days once his appetite returned. I have no proof of this but my sore back. He has grown taller, though, and is now 29.5 inches, right about the 90th percentile.
I know the classic mom line is "they grow so fast," but it's because they do! All of the sudden he is a little-kid-baby, all over the place exploring. Here he is making words on the fridge. (Okay, that's a stretch, he's learning that the letter 'd' tastes great.)
He's suddenly so interested in stuff he can't stay still for a second. On the developmental handout the doctor gave me it said, "Between the ages of 9 and 12 months, your child may begin to . . ." and one of the points listed was, "Resist diapering." I thought, wow, my child is really ahead of the other kids, he's been resisting diapering for months! I was trying to get a picture of him the morning after his appointment for documenting purposes, and this is just one of many failed attempts.
It might be a sleepy look, but this is the only photo he'd give me . . . I'll take it!
(And yes, I do spend a ton of time kissing his cheeks. When he grows up and they thin out it will be a very sad occasion.)
I know the classic mom line is "they grow so fast," but it's because they do! All of the sudden he is a little-kid-baby, all over the place exploring. Here he is making words on the fridge. (Okay, that's a stretch, he's learning that the letter 'd' tastes great.)
He's suddenly so interested in stuff he can't stay still for a second. On the developmental handout the doctor gave me it said, "Between the ages of 9 and 12 months, your child may begin to . . ." and one of the points listed was, "Resist diapering." I thought, wow, my child is really ahead of the other kids, he's been resisting diapering for months! I was trying to get a picture of him the morning after his appointment for documenting purposes, and this is just one of many failed attempts.
It might be a sleepy look, but this is the only photo he'd give me . . . I'll take it!
(And yes, I do spend a ton of time kissing his cheeks. When he grows up and they thin out it will be a very sad occasion.)My So-Called Life
I know someone who is having struggles. (Surprising?) This person used to tell me it is so awesome that I am always having so much fun and I'm such a good mom and I have it all together. The idea of someone thinking I have it all together makes me want to laugh until I snort. If you know me well, you are probably already snorting. We all, for various reasons, put the "best of" on our blogs, and sometimes in the process get an unrealistic view of what others' lives are like. While I don't intend to really change the style of my posts, I do want others to know that if you're having a hard time, I'm sorry, you're not bad for struggling with things, and I'd love to help if I can. I especially want this one person to know that, so this post is for her.
My kids do their share of screaming and breaking. I have my struggles with anxiety and depression (I hate those guys!). I spend enough time wondering why I am the only one who can't get things all together and organized, why I am so socially awkward, why I don't do all of the things I feel are important, why do I have financial worries and why do I care about it when I'm trying not to and I know it's not important, and on and on. There are times when I would trade my house for a nap. There are times I surf the web longingly, looking at degree programs I'm interested in or jobs I'd like to have. There have been things in my life that have been tough that not many would know about. I feel frumpy a lot of times with my glasses and hair, and oh, my we could all list so many things . . .
I write some of it in my journal, and that helps me deal with stuff. But also, it helps to think about the good things, of which there are so many. Josh may have shattered my Pyrex baking dish, but right now as I type he's putting himself to sleep by singing and counting, and it's adorable. I want to scoop him and kiss him. (Although I won't because he'll never get to bed at this rate . . .) I don't want to turn this into, "I am so good at dealing with stuff," because that would probably be the opposite of helping my struggling friend. But I also don't want to make it sound like I think my life is terrible, because it's not. It's quite wonderful, in fact! I am honest in my blog posts, and if I'm having a rough day I like to go back and smile at them, and remember all of my blessings. My friend Melissa actually photographed her house while sparkling clean so she could go back and look at the pictures any time she is feeling frustrated with messiness . . . not a bad idea.
So I've been sitting on this post for a while (not literally, Josh standing on the computer is how our last one broke), not really sure what kind of conclusion to come to. So here it is - if you're reading my blog and something I say makes you feel inferior, shoot me an email, or comment or whatever. We'll exchange honest banter, use each other's strengths to help each other (we all have different ones!) and we'll all feel better in the end. We all have ups and downs, if we didn't there would be no point to life. But I know our Father in Heaven loves us and wants us to enjoy the ups and help us through the downs, and it is often through one another that He does this. I might not be excellent figuring out how to help, but let me know if I can!
My kids do their share of screaming and breaking. I have my struggles with anxiety and depression (I hate those guys!). I spend enough time wondering why I am the only one who can't get things all together and organized, why I am so socially awkward, why I don't do all of the things I feel are important, why do I have financial worries and why do I care about it when I'm trying not to and I know it's not important, and on and on. There are times when I would trade my house for a nap. There are times I surf the web longingly, looking at degree programs I'm interested in or jobs I'd like to have. There have been things in my life that have been tough that not many would know about. I feel frumpy a lot of times with my glasses and hair, and oh, my we could all list so many things . . .
I write some of it in my journal, and that helps me deal with stuff. But also, it helps to think about the good things, of which there are so many. Josh may have shattered my Pyrex baking dish, but right now as I type he's putting himself to sleep by singing and counting, and it's adorable. I want to scoop him and kiss him. (Although I won't because he'll never get to bed at this rate . . .) I don't want to turn this into, "I am so good at dealing with stuff," because that would probably be the opposite of helping my struggling friend. But I also don't want to make it sound like I think my life is terrible, because it's not. It's quite wonderful, in fact! I am honest in my blog posts, and if I'm having a rough day I like to go back and smile at them, and remember all of my blessings. My friend Melissa actually photographed her house while sparkling clean so she could go back and look at the pictures any time she is feeling frustrated with messiness . . . not a bad idea.
So I've been sitting on this post for a while (not literally, Josh standing on the computer is how our last one broke), not really sure what kind of conclusion to come to. So here it is - if you're reading my blog and something I say makes you feel inferior, shoot me an email, or comment or whatever. We'll exchange honest banter, use each other's strengths to help each other (we all have different ones!) and we'll all feel better in the end. We all have ups and downs, if we didn't there would be no point to life. But I know our Father in Heaven loves us and wants us to enjoy the ups and help us through the downs, and it is often through one another that He does this. I might not be excellent figuring out how to help, but let me know if I can!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Can I Hide the Exaustion?
I really want to keep this baby a secret for now, but I am totally exhausted today. The pregnancy-insomnia/sleeping hard/odd dreams have started, and I don't know what gets me wearier, those, or just the normal pregnancy-sleepy. Anyway, I have been trying hard to be positive about things like economic woes, messy house, etc., but my mom and my sister called me today and . . . I was too tired to hide it. I don't want people to think I'm negative and lame, but like I said, I want to keep this to myself for now. So, mom and Cindy, when you read this, my apologies for the lack of enthusiasm that one day in early March. And my apologies to everyone I treat less-than-excitedly for the next 7 weeks or so . . . I had it steeled in my brain that I will be wonder woman, so I guess I'll just go re-steel right now.
P.S., months later at publishing time.
Anyone reading this will now know why I haven't blogged/commented on blogs much for a while.
They will know why I don't call people to do stuff.
They will know why the wreck at my house was at the next level.
They will know why I looked like I wasn't going to make it through several meetings.
They will know why I was so darn sleepy at Matthew's graduation festivities.
They will hopefully know that I feel really happy because although it's been harder, we've actually had a great couple of months as a family. Sure there were low-lights, but highlights along with them.
P.S., months later at publishing time.
Anyone reading this will now know why I haven't blogged/commented on blogs much for a while.
They will know why I don't call people to do stuff.
They will know why the wreck at my house was at the next level.
They will know why I looked like I wasn't going to make it through several meetings.
They will know why I was so darn sleepy at Matthew's graduation festivities.
They will hopefully know that I feel really happy because although it's been harder, we've actually had a great couple of months as a family. Sure there were low-lights, but highlights along with them.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
You May Be Right, I May Be Crazy . . .
. . . but it just might be a lunatic you're looking for. I don't know why you might be looking for one, but I had to finish the song before dispensing my news . . . which is that we found out this week that we are expecting a baby on November 2! Yes, I am excited for real, although it doesn't seem real at this point. I know it in my head, but I don't know that the whole thing has sunk in really. I tried to look up the progression of my baby on the internet, to see if it would make it seem more real to me. I learned that my baby is the size of a sesame seed and consists of three layers of cells. That wasn't as endearing as I'd hoped.
I have debated what I'll say to people about this. Even at this moment I'm typing a post that I don't plan to publish for quite a long time, and it may not be the same words by then. (It's March 1 right now.) This baby (I'm thinking it's probably a boy) will be 17 months younger than Noah. People tend to think things about that, and while it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks, this has been, and will continue to be, a period of spiritual trying and growth for me. I thought it would be more uplifting for me and everyone if I shared these feelings rather than field the, "Oops!" comments and questions.
When Noah was a little over a week old, I felt way better than expected. After feeling terrible for SO long after Josh's birth, I was elated to find I had survived my first day of taking care of two children. The house was clean (my mom had just left), my boys were beautiful and precious, my husband was wonderful . . . it was one of those moments where everything was right and my heart was about to burst with gratitude and joy. As I knelt down to thank my Father in Heaven, I had an impression that I could do this (have a baby) again soon, as in kids about a year and a half apart. Then, the next day a terrible infection hit me hard and landed me in the E.R., life happened, and then I forgot about the whole thing. But Heavenly Father did not.
Throughout the last 9 months (that is how old Noah is), I have had various things happen to me where the idea was brought back to my mind. Usually this was accompanied by me saying, "Am I crazy, having this stuff come into my head? I'm not that good at doing what I already do!" Some of the experiences are long and/or too sacred to me to share in this forum, but one I don't mind writing was a dream. In the dream Noah had a twin, but I had lost the twin. I was so sad, looking all over and realizing it was my fault the twin was missing. Just as I was about to wake up, I realized it wasn't a twin, but a baby not too much younger than Noah. This really stuck in my mind, and joining that with all of the other things (many which are more significant than that), we decided to say that we were willing to have another baby if the Lord wanted to send one. Apparently he wants to.
In the weeks where I was waiting to find out whether or not I was pregnant, I felt I was going nuts. Scared it would happen, scared it wouldn't. A major rollercoaster of emotions that had me constantly on-edge. When we finally found out the news, a calm came over me, and lasted for an entire week. I honestly felt sooo much better, even though thinking about it for real lead to lots of inadequate feelings. I know that peace is from above, and that even though I don't feel organized enough to do it all, I know that it's the right thing for our family right now. I know that we have enough love, and all of the other things I feel like I don't have enough of will work out. I am excited to meet this little person Heavenly Father feels is so important to send. But I am also excited to enjoy my boys (all three of them) this summer, and spend as much time as possible together before things change.
P.S., at publishing time:
Okay, so I'm leaving it that way. If someone takes the time to read it, they can know the information, I say. I'm still nervous for everyone to know (I've just felt so private about this baby), but I'm running out of things to wear. And yes, I do know now that it's a boy. I am a part of a study on pre-term birth (Josh was a day pre-term, so they want me in), and as part of the study I got an ultrasound the other day. Even though I am just under 17 weeks right now, they could tell. I was happy and smiling at that ultrasound the whole time. Must be meant to be. Exciting!
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