Inside the Head of David Archuleta

When my sister Sarah asked if we would like to accompany her to a corn maze shaped like the upper-half of David Archuleta, we said of course. It turns out, it was more than just a corn maze, it was Cornbelly's, a full-out pumpkin festival! Since you may be new to the world of pumpkin festivals as I was, I'll further explain - there were slides, hayrides, jumping things, haunted things, pumpkins, corn mazes, and other such fall-related gaiety.

Here we are, being greeted by Mr. Cornbelly himself. So welcoming. (Yes, we don't have the best flash, but the Cornbelly's spirit still shines through.)

When we got into the actual corn maze, songs sung by David Archuleta were being played constantly. We made it through in pretty good time due to Josh's toddler-navigation skills (he was really trying to look at his "map") and light-up shoes. Here's everyone (Sarah, Dave, Josh, Gary, and Noah) emerging from the corn.

My favorite comments heard that night:

• (By my sister Sarah) "They've played a couple of David Archuleta songs while we were waiting for you, and it makes me pretty excited to maze through his face."
• (By a random college guy on a date) "This is pretty much my dream come true, wandering around aimlessly for hours listening to David Archuleta."
• (By Josh) "Oh, corn, gweat . . .", "Oh, stairs, gweat . . .", "Oh, jumping, gweat . . ."
• (By Gary) "Let's try to get into the car before the Cornbelly's song plays again."

Gary wasn't as excited as I to sit in this chair in public, but I love him for it.

Finally, here are our children as farm animals.

As Sarah said, the whole thing made Josh's week . . . maybe mine, too. At any rate, I got my pumpkin festival fix.

Free Ride at Our House

I considered writing about Josh when he "helped" me give Noah his medicine by putting an ointment that is for his bum in his mouth ("Here go, Oah," I heard him say when my back was turned for 2 seconds), and considered it again when I was changing Noah's diaper and Josh dumped his entire glass of water on Noah, but the following incident is what sends me to my computer. CAUTION: DO NOT LET YOUR TODDLER READ THIS.

Yesterday, after an enjoyable time at the park, Josh suddenly became ridiculously tired, and had a complete meltdown. Don't know what triggered it (I wasn't talking to the neighbor for that long, was I?), but he just laid down on someone's lawn on the way home and started crying. I finally got him home, him screaming all the way, I punched in the code for the garage, and turned around to go get my mail. "I want open garage!" I heard Josh scream angrily from behind me. "Whatever, have your tantrum," I thought, as I slowly meandered to the mailbox. "Mom, garage, garage!" Josh screamed from behind me. I just patiently practiced my tantrum ignoring as I retrieved my mail. But then, I looked up, and in the words of my mother, "Emily became a track star again." Josh had grabbed onto the garage door, probably thinking he'd stop it from opening, and had ridden it all the way to the top. He was hanging 7 feet in the air screaming, his little arms and face and neck all straining to keep holding on.

After I got him down I started laughing, because once he was safe is was pretty darn funny. Unfortunately, the girl across the street saw the whole thing, so hopefully she's a non-judger. Gary and I took a picture this morning so we will remember this feat. Looking at the bottom of the garage door, we seriously don't know how he held on. You'll have to mentally photoshop Gary out, we weren't about to have him do it again.Then, a special shout-out to the guy who puts up with feet in his stomach with a smile.

Letters

This is from 2008, RSS people just ignore. Another in the "keeping track" series. It's for me, me, meeeeee!

I hope it's okay that I forwarded your letter to my mom. I wanted her to know what you said about her because I know it will make her so happy. Plus, sometimes my mom is way better at saying things than I am - she's got a lot more experience being a mom than me. I don't know if I ever told you that her mom was a good lady, but not the best mom. She screamed a ton, swore like a sailor, and slapped my mom if she didn't like what she said. So, my mom knows a lot about overcoming one's upbringing. She did a great job, and always says she hopes we can do even better than her. I don't know, but it's amazing that because of her efforts, my kids are now two generations away from such treatment.


Being a stay at home mom was a big adjustment for me. I taught for the first year of Josh's life, while my husband was finishing his masters' program. It was really hard to be a good mom and a good teacher at the same time, and I really don't want that life for my children. However, when I first started staying home it was a struggle to get through each day. As I've done it more and more, I've started to learn how to enjoy the kids and my life. It's not easy by any means. I am exhausted much of the time. But that Anna Quindlen quote in Elder Ballard's talk really gets to me. I don't want to wish these years away and then wish they were back. So, I need to have a change of heart.

What kind of mom am I? I like to read to my kids, dance around in our pajamas, sit on the kitchen floor and eat crackers and cheese, you know, whatever they like. Some days I lose sight of things and get really frustrated when it takes me so darn long to get dressed and get out of the house. And then when I come home from the store, there's still a breakfast mess and yogurty footprints on the counter. Adjusting to 2 wasn't easy, but I'm getting there. I'd like more sleep, but Noah is so darn precious at this age, I'm just trying to drink him in. I try to keep the house clean, but it gets really overwhelming if I worry about it too much. I also think two year old boys have a permanent layer of grime one them, and there's nothing I can do. I love to give him chances to get dirty, but I scrub him up every night. Yes, we bought our house here. It's small, 1600 square feet, but the floor plan is good, and they were able to fit 4 bedrooms in. We were only looking for 3, so it was a bonus. We really like the community. It's pretty and quiet and lots of families. Tell me about where you live.

I have felt really overwhelmed when listening to conference talks, too. I have to keep telling myself that the Lord wouldn't want me to feel that way, so I should just relax, but relaxing isn't always my strong suit. Please know that it is one of Satan's lies that you are not worthy of love from the Father. He wants us to feel like we can't make it, because that's the first step to not making it. It works on me, too, and it's just the worst. The Savior made a tremendous sacrifice so we could have a chance to strengthen our weaknesses, and he wants to help us. It's hard to remember, and a lot of times I find I don't make progress until I plead for it. The Lord accepts baby steps, though, I really feel like that's all I can do. You deserve time off and time away so you can refresh and recharge, not as a reward for certain things accomplished. This doula thing is a great goal for you, it will be something to get into.
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Speaking Tamantaman and the Rabid Mouse on the Loose

To respond to the concern over the mouse, yes, it is still on the loose. Gary set a humane trap, but it did not take the bait. Josh keeps picking the trap up and saying, "Come, mouse. Come eat a food in house." That's not working, either. Soon, we will have to set an inhumane trap, as I heard on the radio that rabies shots are in low supply.

I was reminded yesterday of Tamantama. My sister made the country up when she was 4, and even taught the family a little of the language. One thing I remember is that if you want to say, "Holy cow," you simply say, "Holy cow, jellyfish." That got me thinking. Probably the hardest language possible to learn would be one where all the words are already in your language, they just mean entirely different things. Just think about it . . . your brain would nearly explode learning it. It could also be really awkward for a new learner. Like, what if, "You look horrible in that dress," was how you have to say, "Congratulations on your wedding." Or, in order to say, "I'm starving, let's eat," you have to say, "I just hit a cat." See, it'd be hard to adjust.

When I was in linguistics class I heard of a guy who did a master's degree project where he made up his own language, with a complete guide to grammar and syntax. He then taught it to his children, and they speak it around the house. So, now I'm thinking I might want to get my master's in linguistics after all . . .

Above animal pronounced "giant squid" in Tamantaman.

I Think About Stuff

People with interests other than children have probably already branded me as One Who Only Posts of Children. They do take up most of my physical and mental energy, and I'd rather document their tiny kid doings for the future than a lot of other things because they won't always be tiny kids. However, I do spend a lot of time thinking about Stuff. Here's a random sampler.Politics - There's a lot going on right now, and Gary and I have spent a ton of time analyzing it. (It makes us feel important. :) ) I don't wish to open a bag of worms by sharing any of my conclusions, but I do want to say that all of this thinking led me to have a dream the other night where I was being quizzed on John King's map. I was doing very well, until I had to say whether Indiana went red or blue in the last election. Aaaah, think hard, Em . . . I also want to say that's one thing I really love about Gary. (Bad segue, John King's map has little to do with Gary.) Gary doesn't just label candidates without really knowing facts. He and I try really hard together to be fair and consider various points.


The Issues - You know, the issues. The economy, health care, energy, national security . . . For example, global warming. Like I said, I try to evaluate things fairly, and my personal jury is still out on the human impact on global warming. (Yes, there are literally 12 people in my head arguing over global warming. It's obnoxious.) I've seen scientific evidence on both sides, and I don't want to believe or not believe things for political reasons. In the meantime, I try to be good to the environment, but choose not to return to the agrarian lifestyle of my ancestors. Sound fair? I try to only think a little about the . . .


Yikes! There is a mouse running down my stairs and Gary is not home. Don't remind me that I kept rats as pets in the past, this is scary.


Nice (and true) illustration of how I can only think so long about the issues. This post was going to get light and silly and talk of dancing and frivolity, but now I can't focus. A mouse is about to eat my babies' toes. And my toes, too. Don't worry, I think about stuff other than babies.


Oh, and please don't send me articles on the true or falseness of global warming. It was just an example, and when I have to know I will assemble my team of experts.

Need 2 Eggs

"Two eggs, mom!" I heard Josh say from downstairs. "Oh, no," I thought, "Will he still be running around the couch with the eggs or are they already all over the place?" (Opening the fridge has been a recent problem.) When I looked down the stairs, instead of disaster, I saw Josh with a box of Banana Nut Muffin mix, pointing to the recipe on the back saying, "Make a treat. Two eggs!" Looking at the recipe, I saw that, indeed, there were 2 eggs pictured. I couldn't let this adorableness go unrewarded, so I let him help me make the mix into some faux-banana bread. He was really excited when we got to the 2 eggs part. Here he is, baking away. Yes, I'm a fool and I let him "try" the scissors. Gary was delighted by the treat, so it looks like Josh knew just what to do. Now he thinks he can make any mix in the pantry he wants if he tells me how many eggs he'll need. Sorry buddy, mommy only eats brownies every other day. In other news, my sister loaned me this baby chair thingy, and Noah loves it.

Evolution

In college I took a class called Social Development that devoted an entire section of the textbook to, "Why Parents Love Their Children." One of the suggestions was that children evolved to be cute so their parents would want to take care of them, and thus the species of the human child has survived. "Bah!" I scoffed when I read it. "These people don't understand what life is all about, and that's why they write things like this."

Now I am the mother of a 2 year old. He is very cute and fun to have around, but he is currently at a stage where he has to "try" everything by himself. He makes his own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, he snaps himself into his own car seat, he pushes his baby brother in his stroller . . . I try to help him to learn new skills and feel good about himself by letting him do a lot of things. However, there are times, like Monday when he insisted on pushing the shopping cart and kept ramming it into our car, or today when he wouldn't let me help him pour his juice and it got absolutely all over the place, when I look down at his cute little face and think, "Evolution is really on your side, buddy."

Gratuitous photo of my children follows. Just try and yell at them.

P.S. After viewing the post, the Josh/Monkey connection seemed even more obvious. Have you seen that kid climb? Hang on things? Make monkey noises? Watch Curious George? Where are my college text books?!

Formatting

It's pretty obvious I don't know how to make things show up the way I planned them formatting-wise, but I'm hoping I'll learn. Is it possible to make it look lovely without learning HTML?

Little Scientists

My children have been actively involved in testing various hypotheses they have in physics, physiology, and sociology. Here are some of their discoveries.


*If you pull the ring on the cow it will play music (and mom will have to take pictures of such adorable preciousness).








*If you throw a light bulb at ceramic tile, it will shatter into more pieces than were in the original light bulb. When asked why he did it, Josh said, "I throw it. I break it." Oh, of course. (I would not have taken this picture if I didn't already have the camera in hand. Snapping photos keeps me from losing it.)


*If you put dad's deodorant on the cut you got from breaking the light bulb, your cut will not be healed, but you will smell great.




*If your mom is feeding or taking pictures of your brother, you can get away with a whole lot.

*If you pull your shoulder up and not only rotate your hips like you've been doing, you will be able to roll off of the play mat you have spent 3 months on. (I missed it, and only saw the results - but look at him rolling. Or look at him rolled . . .?)



*If you scream for hours straight, several days in a row, your mom will take you back to the doctor. (Is there a record for hours in a row screamed by an infant? I told Noah it didn't count unless there was a representative from Guiness there to witness it, but he was going for the record anyway. It turns out the poor baby's ear infection was worse than it was one week ago when I first took him to the doctor.)



*If you stack up the couch cushions, you will get a lot more air when you're couch jumping.



*If you throw all of the plastic cups and bottles out of the cupboard, each one will make a different sound when landing on the floor. "Sound, Mom," Josh would laugh after throwing each one. (Feeding Noah at the time, see earlier discovery.)



*If kids do a lot of experiments, Mom will turn on Super Why and disappear into the shower for the entire episode. (Aaaah . . . much better. Now it's all adorable.)

Innovations

My innovative and environmentally-conscious toddler recently did this to "cook da corn" :

It's brilliant. The hot water cooks your corn and it is clean and steaming at the same time as your dinner plates. You use less hot water, less energy . . . move over Al Gore! (I haven't actually gone through with the test pilot as I removed his handiwork after taking the picture. I'm a wet blanket.)

A couple of days later he found a paper towel tube I'd thrown in the garbage (I know, ew, but that's a 2 year old boy), and set this up:

That's my boy, reduce, reuse, recycle . . . (Don't everyone at once send me a dollar to buy him a real tee, it's not that sad. :) ) Another good innovation would be something that would keep his shorts on him. Lederhosen? Man, those Germans know what to do.

He got me thinking about things I'd like to see happen. Dates with my husband is definitely one. Don't have any brilliant ideas yet, but here's one that worked a couple of months ago:

It would also help me a lot to get exercise, and I have actually been trying. However, the other day as I was "running," I just knew that the people in the cars zipping by me were saying, "How does she do it? The movement of her feet is slow enough to be imperceptible to the human eye," and, "Dear, give me your cell phone, we should call 911." I really wanted them to know, "Oh, that girl is 3 months post-partum, I understand the situation." Then I wouldn't feel so silly. But how to convey the message? Put it on the bum of my sweatpants? Not really my generation . To strike down other ideas I've had, it's a lot more difficult running with a sandwich board, and flagging people down to explain is seemingly more awkward. Maybe the right innovation is a T-shirt with a REALLY large screen-print of this on both sides:

I don't know about that idea, either, but at least now you've seen a picture of what I have to deal with every day. Ain't life grand?

Changing the World

I have always planned on changing the world. I was planning on learning 7 languages and translating for the United Nations or working for the CIA (um, yes, I did read a little much), but didn't quite make it there before becoming a kindergarten teacher and then a stay at home mom. I felt like I was in my house all day doing not affecting anything, when I realized how incredibly much I am doing - even if I do nothing else (although I plan to, don't worry), I am shaping the souls of these little people. (Anyone who hasn't blocked out the 80's may now start singing, "We are the world, we are the children . . .") For instance, today so far I have changed 4 diapers, wiped 17 noses, cleaned up 2 spills and am delaying cleaning another, and played at the park. The world is changed! Oh, the deepness of my first post! By the way, I have two children with one bum and one nose each, but they are a little sick right now.

So, this blog is devoted to the little things that make me smile. And think. Maybe even a few things that make me want to write my congressman. :) Itty bitty steps to changing at least a small part of the world. You never know, this is the blogosphere. I always hear on CNN what "the bloggers" are saying, as if it matters. While I can't at this point fathom how people typing out their frustrations on their computers is, for example, deciding the next president of the U.S., maybe if I mention that when I rode in Curt Bramble's hot air balloon for new teacher orientation he didn't seem completely sincere, I will be invited to be on the Nightside Project. Nah. For now I will leave you with a photo of my three guys who make it all worth it (this is Noah's first time to "shoot hoops") . . . and get after that spill. (Yogurt on the table and light fixture. Not kidding.)