If You Were a Fly on the Wall . . .

I'd try to swat you. But if I missed, you might have heard the following.

A friend of mine: Noah, what's the biggest word you know?
Noah: Giant.

(After playing some type of hide-and-seek game)
Noah: Joshy, that's a great game!
Josh: I know, and it's so easy!

Josh was "reading" his scriptures while I was reading mine.
Me: Josh, what did you learn from the scriptures today?
Josh: Everything
Me: Wow, that's a lot of things.
Josh: Well, I turned a lot of pages.

Noah has had eczema all around his mouth for a couple of weeks now. It keeps getting worse and worse, but he won't let me put lotion on it, ever. Tonight he was looking in the mirror and said, "Look at my mouth, it's red." "I know," I said, "that's why you need to let me put lotion on it." "No, he replied, I need a wash rag." He got a wash rag, and rubbed his face so hard that the entire thing was as red as the eczema. You couldn't see the eczema anymore, because of the solid red. "There," he said, "it's gone."

Josh and Noah brought me some underwear one morning that was actually Gary's.
Me: Is this mine?
Noah: It will fit you, it's an 18T.

Me: Did you know that my mom and dad used to read me this story when I was little?
Josh: Uh, mom, we weren't there when you were little, remember?

Me: Josh, would you like a frozen burrito?
Josh: No thanks, I'd like a warmed-up one.

Noah: (While eating Italian sausage) This stuff is spicin' me up!