Don't Fence Me In

Have you ever paid a ton of money for something you don't really want, and in fact makes you want to cry? Medical stuff probably tops my list there. But, it's necessary, so you pay up. Except medical stuff usually leaves you feeling better in the end. I'm not so sure about my latest sad-but-necessary expense - the fence.

My backyard wasn't fenced when we moved here. It didn't need to be, though. All there was behind there was a big field, just perfect for throwing rocks, catching butterflies, and watching huge flocks of migrating birds resting on their way to their destination. The road to the new high school will cut right through all of that, practically touching my backyard and making it possible for my toddlers to get in the way of teenage drivers. So up goes the fence.

November of 07 was a gorgeous month, just perfect for playing outside. That's when we moved here, me trying my hand at the stay at home mom bit for the first time. I didn't know anyone, was intimidated to meet people, and had no clue what a woman and her toddler should spend their days doing. Not having a reciprocal conversation, that's for sure. So, we went out into the back yard, and there was the salvation of my sanity. Since none of the yards were fenced, we had open communication with the neighbors and their children. Turns out the two houses next to me hold lots of kids, including one boy exactly Josh's age per household. Also, the moms of those children are amazing women who immediately made me feel comfortable and broke the silence of my days with great conversations.


Then, late May of last year, I had a new baby. Not only did the new baby require a lot of sleep, it was hard to plan ahead to get out of the house and do things. Never fear - just go out into the back yard. There I could chat with neighbors while our kids played and run from any of their yards to my own back door to check on my baby. I didn't have to stress about when people would be home or when Noah would be cranky, Josh and I just both had friends right out back. Then in the evenings Josh would go outside and run around with the kids, only stopping for dinner. He'd be exhausted and ready for bed, and usually we'd get a little neighbor-chat in while gathering the children for the night.

Now I'm all fenced in. They just finished yesterday. As they were putting in the posts I would look out my back door and see our yards all partitioned up, and I kinda teared up a couple of times. I'll miss the quick hellos, the kids running back and forth, the ease of socializing with a baby sleeping in the house, the impromptu talks that inspired me, the glimpse of an adult in the midst of a chaotic kid-filled day, the after-school chats with the 7 and 10 year old girls a couple doors down, and oh, goodness I have to stop because I'm crying for real.

I am grateful my kids will be safe from the road and from running away. I am grateful we are blessed with the funds to put it up. I am most of all grateful for the wonderful neighbors who welcomed me here and made it a good thing to have a communal back yard in the first place. I know I will still see everyone, it will just take more planning.

I guess I'll have to buy a bikini and sunbathe a lot. Don't know why else I need a 6-foot privacy fence.
Josh and his friends next door.

Starting to close in on us . . .

It's final.